


Mute little Girl

by Lunar_Bee



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Play, Anxiety Attacks, Castiel Saves The Day, Castiel is a Good Friend, Daddy Dean, Daddy Dom/ Little girl, Daddy Sam, Dean is a Sweetheart, F/M, Feeding, Frost is an ass, Gen, Multi, Non-Sexual Age Play, Papa Sam, Polyamory, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Sam is a Sweetheart, Self-Harm, Supernatural - Freeform, babying, dd/lg, threeway relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-23 07:43:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10715184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunar_Bee/pseuds/Lunar_Bee
Summary: Sam and Dean are on a hunt for a wraith when they get themselves admitted to a mental hospital. They meet a long lost friend Harmony Blues. Sam and Dean hunted with Her parents when they were younger. She's now 20 years old with anxiety, self harming tendencies and she's a little. Sam is determined to get her out of that hospital but what about the wraith.





	1. Meeting Again

I know that I am safe but there are days when his fingers still grasp my neck and his voice still rings in my ears. He isn't here, I know that. But the memory of him still remains in my mind. I'm in the hospital after a mental break down. My uncle put me here, My parents died hunting. They left me their note book, full of monsters and demons. I could fight off any of them but I couldn't fight him, My ex boyfriend. I would freeze in his presents, I couldn't fight him. He was actually insane, clinically deranged but I loved him. 

~

I hear the door slam downstairs and I know that he's home and he's angry. His feet pound up the stairs and I lock myself in the bathroom pinning myself to the wall opposite of the door. 

"Little girl where are you?" He says mocking amusement

I whimper, I don't want to be hurt any longer. I hear him pounding on the door. Please just leave James please leave. The door cracks painfully loud before ripping off its hinges. I flinch pushing myself into the cool bathroom wall. My eyes squeeze shut quickly when I hear him enter the room. His hand is around my throat in an instant, Not squeezing but resting on my throat. Claiming me. His breath drips with alcohol as he leans closer to my face. 

"Why didn't you come when ever I called you?" He says dangerously quiet

I stutter "I-I I D-d-don't K-know. I-I-I.."

Before I could finish my sentence he slaps me across the face. My head hitting the tile wall painfully. He squeezes my throat keeping me upright. 

"Sweetheart, You're such a dumb fucking slut you know that? Can't even get a goddamn sentence out anymore. You know you're mine right?"

I simply nod. You're the reason I have this goddamn stutter James. I try to push him away weakly and He pins my arms above my head releasing my throat. His lips latch to my neck in an instant and I know what he's about to do. My body shuts down. My mind goes numb. There are 7200 seconds in two hours. I counted with the clock on the wall till he was done with me.

~

I come back to reality when someone opens my door. The orderly Frost. There's something odd about him but I can't put my finger on it. I stand up walking to the door when two new patients walk by. One catches my eye and smiles. The shaggy haired man walks into the 'living room' where all the patients go during the day. I hate it in here, smells like death. I plop down on the rickety couch and it groans under my weight. Okay no dinner. I see one of the new patients watching the mirror insistently and I realize that they are hunters. Wraith, There's a wraith here! That's why people keep dying. Who could it be? Fucking Frost, Wraiths venom is passed through bodily contacts, I knew he was a bit to handsy. There's no way I can tell them though. I can't get myself to talk. I'm a mute I guess. I lay my head on the arm of the couch sighing to myself. I need to tell them but I can't write it down Frost might see it and come after me. I start to pick and scratch at my arm without thinking about it. A nervous tic, usually I would go hunting but considering where I am..that won't happen. I feel a giant hand on my wrist and I look over to see the shaggy haired man. 

"You shouldn't be doing that, You could get hurt." 

I nod and he sits beside me in silence. I take a leap of faith and use sign language to tell him I know they're hunters. He nods slightly.

"I know, you know, I saw you watching my brother. Name's Sam and his name is Dean."

I nod blankly and sign "Did you know my parents? They're names were Donna and James Blues."

He smiles and nods slightly "I met them once, I heard about their passing. I'm sorry your name evades me." 

"Harmony" I sign quickly trying to hide a blush on my face 

"You're what 20 years old now?" I nod and he continues "I believe we met once when we were younger, our dad and your parents worked together. You were still afraid of the dark." He says chuckling 

"Sam I think I know who the wraith is." He nods "The orderly that brought me in here, he's handsy with people and everyone he's worked with has died." 

"Thanks for letting me know Harmony" 

He sits in silence again. I lay my head on his broad shoulder gently. I feel him relax under my head. I'm glad there are other hunters here. I hear my name and the orderly tells me to go to my room for a while before dinner. At this point I don't question it. I go back to my room flopping down on my bed. I grab my stuffed animal, His name is Leo, He's a shark. I sometimes slip into this headspace where I act like a child. The doctors say it's to cope with stress, I say it's just because I enjoy Disney and little kid stuff. I enjoy when I go into that headspace but i'm terrified of what would happen if that side of me were to be exposed to something terrible. There were a few instances where it happened with my ex, or when I was on a hunt. It would just happen. I would slip into that headspace in the middle of a hunt or he would be yelling at me and it would just happen and make everything worse. I walk over to the small window looking down at the park across the street, still clutching the stuffed animal. I watch the kids play. I wish I could play on the swings in a pretty pink dress, with a daddy to take care of me. Of course this isn't a sexual thing, I read online about a bunch of people with a Daddy kink but for me this isn't about sex at all. I find comfort in it. I can leave the stressors of daily life and be a little kid. My ex could never wrap his head around it, He kept thinking it was sexual. I watch the kids for a bit then I sit back down on the crinkly hospital bed. I hate it here, I can't let myself be little when I am here because my past will always come to haunt me. I hear the bell ring for dinner and feeling a tiny bit little I take my blanket and wrap it around me like a cape. I walk to the dinner hall and plop down at a table in the far corner. A nurse brings me my food knowing I won't get up to get it. They think I'm weird. I wonder what Sam and Dean would think of me. Not like it matters anyways. I feel someone sit down in front of me and I look up to see the hazel eyed beauty. He smiles warmly at me. I look down at my food quickly but I know he can tell something is different about me. I pull the blanket tighter around me. He looks at me curiously but doesn't say anything for a few minutes. 

"Sweetheart how old are you right now?" 

Okay that sounds like he know about littles. Maybe just a coincidence. I want to tell him though, he seems so nice and kind. I keep my eyes glued to the food on my plate, pushing it around a bit. He takes my hand in his and squeezes it lightly. 

"Sweetie its okay, I know whats going on okay? You don't have to be embarrassed. Now tell Sammy how old you are, pretty please?"

I hold up three fingers and he smiles softly when I meet his gaze. His thumb rubs over my knuckles. I look back down at the food pushing it around the plate. My now clumsy hands unable to pick up any of the peas or carrots on it. He stands up walking to my side of the table and sitting next to me. He pulls the plate over to himself and picks up the fork starting to feed me. I let him. He talks to me while he feeds me.

"Sweetie, Tonight my brother and I are going to come get you okay? But we need you to hide under your bed until one of us calls your name okay?"

I look at him curiously before signing "Like hide and seek?"

He chuckles slightly "Kind of, But You remember Frost right? We're hiding from him okay?"

I nod still curious "Why? He nice?" I sign quickly

"I'm sure he is sweetie but He wants to play too."

I nod softly not really understanding. He feeds me the rest of my food and smiles at me warmly.

"Good girl eating all your food" 

While I'm not fully little, it is nice to be praised. How did he know about all this? About me being a little. I choose to go with it, letting everything go. Letting myself be little. He brushes the short hair out of my eyes. I like him, he fed me! No one's ever done that before. He puts my plate away before I see Frost walking over. 

"Now sweetie you go back to your room and hide, Frost is going to take you but then he'll leave and you hide okay?"

I nod quickly still not fully understanding. I wanted Sammy to stays with me. I don't like being alones after all. He must not like me thats why he's sending me away. I look down and sniffle my lip wobbling. My thumb finds its way to my mouth. I feel Sammys strong hand on my shoulder.

"Sweet heart don't cry, Me and my brother will come find you okay? I pinky promise."

He holds his pinky out for me and I wrap mine around his little finger. He smiles at me warmly before turning me so I can walk with Frost.


	2. Please Someone. I Just Want to go Home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit dark so it may be triggering to some.

Frost takes me back to my room, keeping a hand on my back the entire time. I don't like it, It makes me feel dirty. He opens my door and ushers me inside. I plop down on the crinkly mattress waiting on him to leave. Why is he still here? I want to play hide and seek! He needs to go count or somethin. He shuts the door behind him and I hear the lock click. Why is he locking us in? Did he want to play a different game? Something doesn't feel right. I want Sammy, I'm scared. Frost sits next to me on the bed and I try to scoot away from him. He's scaring me. He has this creepy look on his face. He pushes me back into the mattress. Sammy I don't want to play anymore. I want cuddles. His hand grips my thigh. I don't like this. 

"You want to play games little girl? Lets play a game."

I keep my head down. I don't want to play your game Frost. He climbs ontop of me. I feel my body freeze. I don't want to play no more. I want Sammy, I want Dean. His hot breath hits my face and I cringe pushing my head into the pillows. In an instant he flips me over. I start to cry. Please don't Frost I don't want to play. I try to kick him or move him off as he rips my pants and underwear off. Please no. I want out. I look out the window. I can't do anything. Sobs rip their way through my throat. I want Daddy Dean and Papa Sam. I hear his pants unzip. I feel him push into my bottom and a scream muffled by the pillow. I turn my head as my body goes numb. I count the seconds on the clock across the room. There are 1800 seconds in thirty minutes. A bang resonates from the hall way and I feel him move off my body zipping up his pants. He grabs me up by my short hair, pulling me painfully so I have to look at him. 

"I'll be right back you little.." Another bang "Don't go no where."

With that he leaves me, broken and now sore. Bruises already forming hand prints all over my body. I scramble underneath the bed grabbing my stuffed animal on the way down. My pants discarded on the floor. My body to far into shock to care and my bottom bleeding from the violent act. I curl up on my side, under the dark dark bed. My body doesn't feel like my own anymore. I want to play with Sammy I want De to make me pies. I don't want Frost to come back. I hear a screech down the hall, then pounding feet. I curl up tighter around the stuffed animal. Frost is coming back, I know it. I don't want to play with him anymore. I hear the door open softly and two sets of feet find their way into my room. 

"Sweetie it's Sammy and De. You can come out from under the bed now." 

I shake my head. Frost will come back. He'll hurt me. I turn over to face the door and I see two sets of booted feet. One picks up my discarded bottoms from the bed, murmuring to the other. I squeeze my eyes shut as I hear movement in the room. I feel a calloused hand touch my arm and my eyes open only to be met with the hazel eyed beatuy. He takes in my form quickly assesing what happened. 

"Princess Frost isn't here anymore. Dean and I made him go away. Can you come to me?"

I glance to the other feet, he seems to notice. 

"That's just Dean Honey, He's waiting on us so we can go get you're favorite treat." 

I sign "I scared." 

He nods sadly "I know you are Sweetpea but I promise, Frost isn't here."

I hold my pinky out weakly and he smiles softly wrapping his pinky around mine. 

"Pants?" I sign quickly and he hands me them

I slip on the panties and underwear quickly, trying to hide what happened to me. It was no use, They already knew what happened. 

"I feel dirty" I sign as Sammy helps me out from under the bed

"I know Sweetie, You can take a nice bath when we get home how about that? A nice bath with some toys and crayons?" 

A bath did sound nice, I nod slightly. I go to stand up but my body screams in pain. I drop back to my knees. 

"Carry" I sign 

He nods picking me up effortlessly and I see Dean. He looks angry. 

"De mad at me?" I sign looking up at Sammy 

He shakes his head and Dean looks at us both, confused. 

"She thinks you're mad at her" Sammy says simply as we walk out of the building 

I see every ounce of anger and negative emotion flow from De's body and he stops Sammy from walking taking me from his arms. 

"Sweetie I could never be mad at you. I promise De isn't mad" He gives me an eskimo kiss and I giggle lightly

Sammy opens the back door of baby and De sets me down in the seat. I shift uncomfortably, Hiccuping every once in a while. Sammy gets in beside me and De in the front seat. 

"Where going" I sign tapping Sammy on the shoulder 

"To the bunker, Home." He says pulling me over onto him


	3. Early morning with De

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was very fun to write. Lots of fluff! Enjoy.

The dull ache in my lower body prevents me from going to sleep so I pull myself closer to Sammy. He's warm and kind. I watch his face in the darkness, street lights illuminating it every couple seconds. The worry lines creasing through his face like valleys between mountains. His eyes watching the road even though he isn't driving. I trust them so very much. Both of them. The rumbling of baby lulling me into a light sleep. I fall asleep studying his face. 

~

I feel her breathing slow and her movements still. I look down to see her peacefully asleep and I smile. I rub her shoulder lightly. I know what has done to her and I want to get her home as soon as possible. I want help her feel better because I know she's in pain. All because of that wraith. I look up to catch Dean stealing glances at her from the rear-view mirror. Its not hard to see that he feels guilty that she thought he was mad at her. She shifts in her seat still asleep but uncomfortable. 

"Dean don't beat yourself up about it okay? She was afraid of everything. Even me. It'll likely be like that for a while, considering what happened to her." 

"I know but she came to you. The first thing she asked was if I was mad at her."

"Well you were mad Dean, She was vulnerable and thought what happened to her was her fault. I guess when she saw you she thought you would blame her. I know you wouldn't but she was raised like us. She's probably terrified that she'll be made fun of for crying or for seeming weak."

He nods thoughtfully "What can we do to help?" 

"Be gentle with her, Comfort her whether she is in a big headspace or a little headspace." I rub her shoulder before continuing "She's going to need us, When I recognized her she was literally self harming and that was before all of this."

"Should we go get her some stuff for her little self?" 

"I'll go once we get to the bunker. You can help her into the bath. Spend some time with her. I'll bring some clothes and stuffed animals for her." 

He nods and we drive in silence for a few hours. We arrive at the bunker at a quarter till one in the morning. Dean gets out first and helps me lift her out of the car carefully. She needs to stay asleep as long as she can. It's been a rough night/ day for her. She shifts in my arms lightly before going back to a deep sleep. Her thumb wanders to her mouth sucking on it lightly and I smile setting her on Deans bed after he set a towel down. I remember the baby monitor I had bought to keep an eye on Dean when he was hurt and I run and grab it setting one on his night stand and handing the other to him. 

"That way you can do whatever you'd like while she's asleep and you'll be able to hear her wake up."

He nods slightly and I grab the car keys heading out to get her everything she could need.

~

I watch Sam leave and then I wander back to my room sitting on the edge of the bed. She looks so peaceful when she's asleep like this but I can't get the look of pure fear that I saw when she looked at me. She didn't understand that I just wanted to protect her. I hated the bastard that did that to her. I know she's still in pain. It just makes it worse. I walk into the kitchen carrying the baby monitor with me. I'll fix her something to eat, just in case. I don't know her favorite food but I know when I had to look out for Sammy his was spaghetti O's so I'll make that. Sam use to love them so maybe she will as well. I wish there was something more I could do. I wish I could take away the pain. The baby monitor turns on and makes a faint noise and I set off down the hall to see if she's okay.

~

I sit upright in the bed quickly. De? Sammy? Daddy? Papa? Where were they? My bottom hurts. My tummy is empty. I feel tears start to well up in my eyes. They left me, They hates me, Sammy mad at me. De mad at me. I look around the room. Where am I? I hear foot steps then a shadow in the door way. It's Daddy De! He didn't leave me! Before I can do anything he scoops me up quickly. 

"Why the tears sweetie, I'm right here. De didn't leave." 

I nuzzle into his shoulder, in pain and upset. I want to takes a bath. I squirm in his arms a bit pointing to the bathroom. He smiles slightly.

"You want to take a bath sweet pea?" I nod quickly and he chuckles as I try to squirm away so I can run to the bath "Woah, Woah sweetie you could get hurt let me help okay? Sammy hasn't come back yet so we don't have any toys but would you like bubbles?" I nod again as he carries me to the bathroom "I think Sammy has some bubble bath but he doesn't know that I know so it's our secret" He says winking at me 

I giggle the thought of Giant Sammy taking a bubble bath makes me very happy. He wouldn't fit in the tub, he'd have to hang his legs out the side. De sets me down on the counter and starts the water pouring some bubble bath in. He turns to face me. 

"Come on sweetie you can't get in with clothes on" he says tickling my sides 

I giggle again and he pulls my shirt and bra off over my head making my hair stick up like a Mohawk. He helps me stand up and I whimper. 

"I know Baby I know it hurts, It'll feel better once we get you in the bath."

I keep my head down as he helps me out of my pants. He makes a noise and before I could look his hand lifts my chin so I have to look at him. 

"Don't look Babygirl you're okay, I promise." He says quickly lifting me into the bathtub.

He sets me down on my bottom carefully in the warm water. Oh my goodness there's so many bubbles! I splash in the water a bit and De even washes my hair. He grabs a cup off the counter and uses it to wet my hair. I love my hair its all deep red and the sides are all fuzzy like De's but the top is long like Sammy! De massages the shampoo into my scalp carefully and I relax under his touch. He rinses my hair with the cup and takes a wash cloth and begins washing my arms and shoulders and down my body till he reaches my princess parts and he stops. I can tell he's unsure if I would want him to continue. I shake my head answering before he has time to ask and take the wash cloth from him cleaning myself without looking. I know it hurts but I don't want to know if there is any blood. He rubs my back until I'm done. He lets me play in the bath for a bit longer until my fingers start to wrinkle. I hold them up for him to see and he take my hand quickly.

"Oh No! you're turning into a mermaid! Don't turn into a mermaid sweetie. If you do we'll have to put you in a tank." 

I laugh a bit. Daddy is so silly, I'm not turning into a mermaid. The wrinkles just mean it's time to get out. I lift my arms up, wanting him to help me up. He chuckles lightly and picks me up out of the tub. I stand on the bathmat while he dries me off, being very gentle around my princess parts. 

"Come on sweetie you can wear one of my tee shirts."

He wraps the towel around my arms and leads me to his room. I bounce onto the bed. It's very soft and cozy. I lay back letting myself sink into it. I hear him chuckle from across the room.

"Come on babygirl I bet you're very hungry aren't you?"

He slips the tee shirt over my head and I nod. I'm very hungry but also very picky. I hear my tummy growl softly and I look up at De. 

"Oh goodness we better get some food in that tummy before it eats you!" He say tickling my sides and picking me up. 

I giggle nuzzling his neck. He smells good, Like leather and oil. I like it a lot but I'm starting to miss Sammy. Where was he? De sets me down at the table carefully before bringing me a bowl of...Spagetti O's! I love thems! I bounce in my seat lightly, clapping my hands excitedly. 

"You like O's?" He ask cocking an eyebrow at me and I nod quickly

He smiles warmly while setting down in front of me. He feeds me my meal slowly, making sure I finish what's in my mouth before he gives me another bite. I finish all my food and he ruffles my hair before setting the plate in the sink.

"Now for desert how about some Pie" 

I nod. I love pie! He smiles cutting me a slice of apple pie and putting on a plate. I miss Sammy. He's been gone a long time. I look down at the floor a bit sad. De sits down and looks at me.

"Ya miss Sammy don't ya" I nod a bit and he sighs lightly "How about we put dessert on hold and wait on Sam to get back? We can go watch a movie." 

I nod slightly and he smiles picking me up carefully. We go back to his room and he grabs some movies from a drawer under his TV. He has a lot of movies everything from Amettyville, to Bambi, To Die Hard. I pick The Wizard of Oz. He chuckles lightly before popping the movie in. Within the first thirty minutes I find myself falling asleep. I hope Sammy will come back soon.


	4. Presents and More than Harmony can Handle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys at the end of this chapter there is a bit of a warning for self harm and depressive thoughts. Let me know what you think or if you have any suggestions.

I pull her closer to me as I feel her body relax. She's so peaceful looking. I know she probably misses Sam but I hope she enjoys being around me as well. I try to move slightly out of her grip but she grabs a hold of my shirt, right over my heart. I smile a bit knowing she doesn't want to be alone. I run my fingers through her hair lightly. She's so sweet and innocent, but she knows about the dangers of the world. She's a hunter when in a big mindset. Who knows how long she'll be in a little mind set anyway. Its our job to protect her no matter what. It would be easier if she could just tell us when something was wrong. Her file back at the hospital said she had a form of mutism. Something happened in her life, so terrible she just shut down. I know hunting can be rough but she's a fighter, raised by hunters, There's no way that could cause her to go mute like this. The file said she's been that way since she was admitted nearly a year ago. I can't remember who she was admitted by but I know her parents died hunting a nest of vampires, fucking nasty things they are. Her uncle I believe put her there, Maybe I'll reach out to him. See what I can figure out. 

She rolls over in her sleep releasing my shirt and I pull the blankets up over her body before turning on the baby monitor, carrying the other end with me. I walk to the bathroom picking up her discarded clothing on the floor. There was a good bit of blood in her underwear which I can understand considering what happened to her. I throw the clothes in the hamper trying not to look too closely. I can't get the image out of my head. The pure fear in her eyes when she came out from under that bed, like she was in that situation before. Almost like she was reliving something in her mind. I go to the kitchen cleaning up the dishes and cups. I hear her shift through the baby monitor but then it goes back to silence. I go to the library flipping open my laptop. I start researching everything I can on mutism, ways to help people with it, if they'll ever talk again, etc. I also read up on things that littles like, how long they could be in little space, how to make them comfortable etc. I find a recipe online for a drink that tastes like apple pie. She'd really enjoy that. I print it out and pin it to the fridge. I walk back to my room and I hear movement. I peak my head in to see her rolled up in the blankets and I have to restrain myself from laughing. She's fucking adorable. I snap a quick picture on my phone before getting a text from Sam. 

'Be home in about 40 minutes. How is she?'

I send him the picture with the caption 'Just fine.' I can almost hear him laugh even though he's no where in sight. I lay down next to her deciding to take a small nap till he gets back. Almost instantly she finds her way into my arms and I hold her blanketed for as I fall into a light sleep. 

~

I pull up in baby parking in the garage and stepping out of the now full car. Plenty of things she would need, Both little or big. I grab up and arm load bring it in the bunker carefully as to not wake anyone up. I set all of it in the library for now. I peak into Deans room and see him and Harmony curled up together. Smiling, I go over to Harmony's side of the bed and sit down on the edge. She moves slightly in her sleep as I comb my fingers through her hair. Dean wakes up and seeing me he lets me continue. 

"Come on sleepy head, Time to get up!" I say keeping my voice quiet but my tone playful

She opens her eyes rubbing them gently.

~

I'm awakened by a voice, gentle and kind. Instantly slipping into little space again I open my eyes. Rubbing them lightly to get the crud out of them. I look up to see Sammy! I all but jump up hugging him tightly and I see De, He didn't leave me! I'm not alone. I tug on De's hand pulling him into a hug too. They both laugh and I nuzzle my face into Sammy's neck. 

"Come on sweetie I have presents for you" Sammy says picking me up 

'Not my birthday' I sign and he chuckles

"I know hunny but De and I wanted to get some stuff for you"

I smile and De rubs my back lightly. 

"And when we're done opening presents, We can have dessert! She wanted to what to till you got home to eat dessert" De says talking to Sammy 

I wish I could talks to them. They probably wouldn't want me to if I did. Sammy smiles and carries me to the library. By now the sun was shining through every window and the bunker was warm and inviting. As Sammy puts me down I see the pile of stuff they bought. Sippy cups, bottles, clothes, coloring books, toys, bath stuff, anything I could need, and set the table off by itself was a stuffed animal just like the one I had at the hospital. My parents had gotten me that rabbit stuffed animal. I missed them. I walk over to it and pick it up hugging it close to my body. I sign my thanks over and over again. Sammy and De just chuckled.

"Do you like everything sweet girl?" De says helping me into a pair of undies, and pajamas.

I nod again hugging them both tightly. "Now I think someone is ready to have some dessert, Don't you Sammy"

"Well I know I sure would like some." Sammy says lightly 

I tug on Sammys shirt lightly. Something was bothering me but I couldn't place what it is. Why were they being so kind to me? I mean I can't even talk. I mean I want to talk to them to tell them everything that happened to me, to give them my thanks, to laugh at their jokes, to make jokes. I want them to know how fragile I really am. My little side is broken beyond belief because of multiple ex's and other things too. I don't feel pretty, or smart, or like I'm even a good little. Not small enough, not fragile enough, not perfect enough. I don't want to be a burden. My thumb finds its way to my mouth and my lips begin to tremble. I feel my breathing pick up the pace. Not thin enough, not enough ass, not sexual enough, too sexual, Bitch, Cunt, Prude! The mean voices yelling obscenity's in my ears. My heart beat racing. What was happening? I don't like this! My big head space returning, I push past a very concerned Sam and Dean. They hate me! I find my way to the bathroom, the room seems too distant. I lock the door. They don't want someone like you Harmony. Just like the rest! My hand scratches my wrist fervently. What triggered this? Wanting to talk, You can't talk Harmony, Can't let anyone know what your ex did. Or what that man wanting to be your Daddy did. Can't let them know how weak, how pitiful you are. Hot sticky liquid oozes out of the now small wounds on my arm. You're a freak Harmony, how could you like something like this. I can't tell whether the distant pounding is my heart beat or the door. I worried them I know, I just can't be around them. Can't disappoint them. I'm just some freakazoid bitch. No one will ever understand. I want to talk to them. I don't want to be like this forever. My ex no longer has control over me, yet he does. Years later he still rules over my life. The assaults, the beatings, the psychological abuse. He cut me off from everyone, friends, family. Only him. I sob quietly my nails digging into my flesh harder. I need to feel the pain. Need to make things not so distant. I need to come back to reality. Blood drips onto the floor. I feel my mind wanting to slip back into little space. I can't not now. I hear my name being called but it's a whisper. I slide against the bathroom wall, pulling my knees to my chest. I hear what sounds like fluttering wings but it must just be my mind playing tricks on me. Something blocks the florescent lights from my vision, Rather someone. A blue eyed man...in a trench coat. How did he get in here?


	5. Little Girl's Sadness

A blue eyed man...In a trench coat? How did he get in here? He looks down at me sadly before squatting down and taking my hand in his. For some reason I get the feeling he know, about me, my life, why I'm like this. I hear the door click unlocked from our side. Sam and Dean burst in. The mystery man holds up a hand as if to tell them to stop. He looks at me gently, Grabbing some towels and pressing it to the wound on my arm but as soon as he did it was gone. He wiped the blood from my arm, revealing nothing. No scratches and no wound. Who was this man? Did they know him? He stands up and pulls Dean out of the room. I look at the floor, finding interest in it rather than the gaze of Sam. He sits on his knees infront of me, quietly.

"Did we do something?" He asks softly

'It wasn't you guys Sam. It's just..' I pause signing before continuing 'There's so many things you don't know, about me, about my past. I know you knew me when I was younger but that was so long ago. There's so much you don't know Sam. I'm messed up. I mean look at me.' I motion to the pajamas that I'm wearing. 'I don't want to be a burden on you guys and I feel like I am. I feel like I could never be enough for any one. I'm a lost cause..' 

Before I know what's happening I'm being crushed in a bear hug. He face falling in the crook of my neck. His giant hands pulling me into his body. The warmth radiating from his body comforting me like a blanket. He pulls away from me just far enough so he can see my face.

"You aren't a lost cause Harmony. Dean and I...We enjoy taking care of you." He shifts so he's sitting on his bottom with me in his lap "Look, When we were younger, to young for you to probably remember, Your parents and our dad met up for a lot of hunts. Every single time we met up they would leave you with us. You were always so happy to see us, but you were always so thin. Your parents didn't take care of you. Dean would make you dinner and I would help comb out the tangles in your long hair. We've always cared about you. No matter if you talk or not."

I smile a bit vaugely remembering Sam doing my hair and Dean always looking so upset. 

'Dean was always so upset..' I sign 

"He was mad at your parents for leaving you like that. I remember one time our parents had met up for a vampire hunt and your hair was so matted that every time I tried to brush it you would just cry. You kept asking me to just cut your hair. I wouldn't do it but Dean did. He didn't want you hurting anymore. I remember afterwards you couldn't stop rubbing your fuzzball of a head either." He says smiling 

I giggle slightly remembering that night. 

"There's the smile I like" He says pulling me closer to him "Now about the talking, You know we won't judge you and we'll do anything you need to make you comfortable enough to be able to and I know Dean may seem upset right now but he was worried sick he was terrified that he was going to lose you."

'Who was that man?' I sign 

"Oh, Castiel. He's our friend, He's an angel thats why he was able to heal you. The thing is neither of us prayed to him."

'I did, I guess. I just wanted to voices to stop, They yell at me telling me terrible things. I just prayed in my head to anyone, then he showed up.'

Sam nods slightly "well its a good thing he did hun, You want to go see Dean now."

I nod and Sam helps me to my feet before standing himself. We walk out of the bathroom then back to the library. Dean was sitting at the table his head in his hands and Castiel was leaning against the table lightly. I feel like I might burst into tears at any moment but when Dean looks at me I brake. His face was tear stained and puffy. I all but run to him wrapping my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He picks me up into the seat holding me tightly. 

"Thought we lost you" He mumbled into my neck

I feel my body trembling, I hurt them so badly. I made them cry. I didn't mean to hurt them. He pulls away looking at me. His green eyes holding every emotion you could think of but mostly worry. I know he didn't want to lose anyone else, but I wasn't planning on killing myself. It just happens, I panic. He holds my face in his hands.

"I understand it wasn't something you could control, but you need to talk to us. Tell us when you start feeling like that. Sign to Sam or get my attention. I don't care if you have to hit me to get my attention just do it, Or call Cas. He'll come and help until one of us can."

I look over at the black haired man and he smiles softly.

"All you have to do is think my name and I will come help you." Cas says lightly 

I wish they all knew what I was going through. 

"And if it's all too much or you feel overwhelmed just sign the word Impala and it'll all stop." Sam pipes up

I nod slightly and nuzzle into Deans neck. I felt so guilty. I didn't want them to be sad. He stands up taking me in his arms and sets me down on the table. He brushes the hair out of my eyes and hands me the stuffed animal. I hold it close to my chest. I know he's trying to make me go into little space. But I can't not infront of this stranger. As if reading my mind (which he might be doing) Cas speaks up.

"I know a few other people who participate in this kind of activity. Do not be ashamed of it especially around me. I will not judge you for it. It is something that helps you and makes you a great person to be around." 

"Cas is right Harmony, there's no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed for anything around us." Sam says while picking up some wrappers and bags from the presents. 

"Now Sam and I are going to go get something for lunch. You stay here with Cas. He'll take good care of you I promise. He knows sign language as well so it'll be easy. You can watch TV or just wander around. But please be careful." Dean says kissing the top of my head

I nod and they head towards the door. Cas and I sit in silence for a moment before I get down from the table. I start to pick up the presents that Sam and Dean got for me. Cas looks at me confused. 

'want to decorate my own room' I sign quickly and he nods

He helps me pick a room. It's already a pale pink color so I don't have to worry about painting it. Cas bring up some shelving and we work together to put it together. He helps me put everything away and put sheets on the kingsized bed. I set the stuffed rabbit on the pillow. Cas helps me string fairy lights along the corners of the room. It looks really nices and pretty and and...It makes me feel so much better. Cas sits in the saucer chair and as it dips he looks a bit nervous. I giggle slightly. I want to curl up on the bed and watch scooby doo. I feel myself slip almost seamlessly. I sit on the bed lightly. I want to takes the pajamas off. It's already lunch time after all. I bounce of to the closet where Cas had put my clothes and I pick out a dress with unicorns on it and I hold it up for Cas to see. 

"Need help darling or can you do it?"

He knows that I've slipped into little space. I hand the dress to him carefully. He helps me take off the pajamas and I put on a bra and panties. He helps slip the dress over my head booping my nose afterwards. I giggle and he picks me up with ease. He sets me on the bed bringing me some frilly socks and pretty sandals. He puts them on me just as I hear the bunker door open. Daddy and Papa home! I pull on Cas's hand towards the door and I see Daddy setting the food down and Papa setting some plates out and I run over too them. Daddy De picks me up kissing my face all over.

"Look at my happy little girl! Did you and Cassy have fun?"

I nod quickly signing 'we did my room, it's got lights and stuffs' before pulling him towards my room.

Papa quickly adds "She wants us to go see her room, She decorated it."

"Okay babygirl but right after we're going to eat."

I nod quickly and pull him and Papa into the room, Cas following close behind. We enter the room and Papa and Daddy look around, They're excited I can tells. I walk over to Cas rocking on the balls of my feet. He looks down at me with soft eyes. I can feel Daddy and Papa watching me.

'Stay for dinner?' I sign looking up at him with puppy dog eyes

He chuckles ruffling my hair. "of course little one, I'll stay."

I smile and Daddy holds my hand taking me to the kitchen. He sets me down beside Cas and Papa sits across from me. Daddy pulls up a chair in front of me. I look at him curiously and he smiles.

"Gotta feed my babygirl right? Don't want you to go hungry." 

I nod agreeing with him. I was really hungry. Papa and Cas dig in to their food while Daddy feeds me mine. We eat quietly till Papa pipes up talking to Daddy and Cas. 

"Cas, we need to get back to work. There's a job"

'Want to come!' I sign mid-bite

Papa chuckles "Sweetie I know and we aren't leaving you hear. Papa just wants Cas to help look over you while we're out."

I nod softly chewing my last bite of food. I know what they do, They hunt the bad guys down and make them go bye bye. I do that to when I'm big.

"Cas we need someone to not only watch her but be there encase something happens to one of us."

"I will be there to help in any way necessary"

"Now sweetpea we have to pack so go with Cas and pack you a bag of clothes for four days. Daddy or I will come and check. You can bring one stuffed animal and two books okay?"

I nod all but pulling Cas to my room. He helps me get a medium sized suitcase and sets it on the bed. I pick out a whole bunch of outfits just throwing them into the bag quickly. Cas chuckles.

"Honey, You need to fold the clothes. That way more will fit."

'Don't know how.' I sign 

"Come here sweetie, I'll teach you." he says patting the spot next to him 

I bounce over to him plopping down on the bed next to him. He hands me a shirt and takes one for himself. Cassy is so smart. Together we fold most all the clothes slipping them in the suitcase. Daddy comes to check after I put the books in and holding my stuffed animal. Daddy picks me up and carries me and the suitcase to Baby. Papa is already in the car waiting on me. I sit next to him in the back seat and Daddy gets in the front. As we drive away from the bunker Cas is no where to be seen. As if reading my mind Daddy starts talking.

"Cassy will meet us the honey, He has other things he needs to get ready."

I nod and cuddle up next to Papa. He lets me watch a movie on his laptop as we drive down the road. I hope Cas isn't late.


	6. The Past Comes Back

A few hours of driving, playing I spy, and two bags of chips later and we pull into a motel parking lot. Now in a big mind set. I help bring in our stuff. I flop face down on the bed. I want to go out to a bar. Hussle pool stuff like that. Again as if reading my mind Sam sits on the bed next to me.

"Hey Harmony, Dean and I, we're going out. You want to come?"

I nod while signing 'I need to change and get ready give me about 15 minutes'

He chuckles and nods. I grab a change of clothes and some make up. After i slip on my underwear I pull on a pair of jeans and a tank along with a red and black flannel. I do a slight cat eye and a nude lip along with the rest of my makeup. I look good even though I'm a bit chubby. I weigh more than most girls about 180 pounds but I try not to think about it. I brush my hair back into a faux hawk. Even though I am a little, I'm also a hunter. I stick my pocket knife in my boot. I walk out of the bathroom quietly and Dean glances over at me. He quickly does a double take. 

"Damn Harmony, Lookin good." 

I giggle slightly walking towards the door signalling for him and Sam to hurry up. We drive to the bar in comfortable silence. While the boys play pool I walk over to the bar handing the bartender the written order for the boys and I. It's very busy and he tells me he has a few ahead of ours and I nod turning around and surveying the whole bar. I spend a few minutes like this till I feel someone sit heavily beside me. I know they're drunk without even looking at them. I also knew they wouldn't understand the whole not talking thing, especially drunk. 

"Hey little lady, Why don't we get out of here?"

I shake my head lightly, wishing the bartender would hurry up with my stuff.

"Come on Doll face, You look like you want to fuck someone."

I want to punch you in the face.I look towards the pool table, They aren't paying attention. The bartender hands me a drink stating that he needs to run grab some more beer from the back. I nod yet again. The sleeze ball of a man keeps talking to me.

"Come on Dolly, You're so sexy. Why aren't you talking huh? You a dumb bitch or something?"

I roll my eyes. This bitch. I can't stand people that aren't open minded. I take a step away from him. He sees that and grabs me by the wrist tightly. I glare at him yanking my arm out of his grasp. The sleeze closes the gap between us, his hot breath hitting me in the face. 

"Let's get outta here baby, I'll treat ya real nice."

His hands wrap around my waist. I've had enough. I kick him in the balls and as he leans forward I knee him in the face, feeling his nose crunch effectively on my leg. He collapses and I turn around grabbing the beers and my drink walking away. I notice Sam and Dean looking at me. I shrug. I wasn't going to take it any longer. I am a hunter after all. Dean nods in approval and Sam shakes his head. I hand them their beers drinking mine in an instant.

"Whoa there tiger, take it easy." Dean says as I sit down roughly 

I look over to where the man was now standing holding a wad of napkins to his nose. 

"I know he pissed you off but I doubt he'll do it to anyone else. Did you break his nose?" Sam asks looking at the man the to me

'I think so, at least I felt it crack.' I sign shrugging 

He chuckles softly "You're one hell of a girl ya know that." 

I smile softly just as Dean wins another game of pool. 

'How much did he win this time?' I sign 

"About $600" 

I nod lightly then over the music from across the bar I hear a familiar voice. James. I know before I spot him. Talking to the bartender. I grip Sams arm tightly nearly hiding behind him. Dean comes over to us.

"What's got you so upset?"

I discreetly point to my ex across the room. They didn't really know him but I needed to get out of here. 

'I'm going to step outside for a bit guys. I need some fresh air.' I sign to Sam and he nods 

I slip out the back door only to be met with one of his friends.

"There you are"

I skirt around him trying to make it to the car. He grabs my wrist.

"Oh you aren't going anywhere doll. J wants to see you." 

I whimper under his grip just as James walks out the door.

"Harmony, Harmony, Harmony. Now what should I do with you. You went and got yourself locked up in a mental hospital just to get away from little ole me."

He pins me to the wall of the bar, His breath ghosting over my face. I flinch away trying to push out of his grip. I try praying to anyone I can calling out to the king of hell if He would listen. James grips my throat tightly cutting of air to my lungs. I gasp for the air that would not come. He rips open my flannel shirt exposing my tank top. He rips it in half.

"Look at you. Still as sexy as ever." He states simply "But you ran away from me. You need to be punished."

He pulls out a branding toll and I see his eyes go black as he heats it up seemingly with his hands. A demon. His friend holds my arms behind my back as he places a leather belt in my mouth.

"Wouldn't want those pretty little teeth to break" 

I struggle against them as the red hot brand inches closer to me. I feel the heat and in an instant they're gone and I drop to the ground gasping for air I didn't know I was holding. I hear movement and a pair of fancy shoe stop right in my vision.

"Did he hurt you Love?"


	7. What Happened?

"Did he hurt you love?" The Scottish accented voice questioned

I rub my wrists lightly, shaking my head. No I don't think I was hurt. I stand up on wobbly legs facing the man that helped me. A dark haired man, In a suit. That's a bit odd. 

"King of Hell at your service or Crowley" He says lightly 

I wish I wouldn't have prayed to literally anyone. I felt my knees give out and squeeze my eyes shut. Expecting to hit the ground. A strong arm holds me up. I look up at the hooded eyes of the King of Hell.

"Oh love you're falling for me already?"

I giggle lightly and roll my eyes. He helps me to the front of the bar where Baby is and I sit on the hood. He keeps looking at me strangely. Catching glances whenever he can.

"I will go retrieve moose and squirrel, stay put love. Don't want anymore tumbles."

I nod slowly checking my body over for cuts or scrapes. Besides the bruises now on my wrists and arms I'm seemingly unharmed. I slip off the hood and opens the back door slipping in for a moment. I get out the small diaper bag setting it on my lap with the door open. I felt myself slipping before we made it to the car but I could hold it off till I got in the car. I grab the stuffed animal out of the bag and I hug it to my chest. I felt tears stinging my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. I don't understand what happened all I know is someone hurt me. I rub my throat where bruises were forming. I push the diaper bag onto the floor curling up in the back seat with the stuffed animal. I want Papa, I want to cuddle with him. I know a mean man hurt me, My ex hurt me. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I brush the tears off of my face with the back of my hand. I climb back out of the car shutting the door and sitting on the hood where Crowley left me. He has a funny name. I like his name kinda, even though I know he isn't a good person. He's the King of Hell. That's the bad place, No one wants to go there. I clutch the stuffed animal to my chest lightly. I see Papa come rushing out the door quickly spotting me and scooping me up.

"Oh sweet girl are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"She's perfectly fine moose calm down"

"Why didn't you stop him sooner!? I mean He's one of yours anyway!" Papa growls turning towards Crowley 

I flinch, Papa is really angry. Did I Do something wrong? He feels me flinch and looks down at me softly. 

"Babygirl Papa isn't mad at you I promise, it's okay."

I nod and Daddy comes out of the bar the door banging behind him. He strides up to Crowley but Papa sets me down quickly pulling daddy away. 

"Dean she's already scared, she doesn't need to be scared of you."

He nods though he looks like he might burst from being angry. I notice Crowley keeps looking at me and I hide behind Papa letting my stuffed animal dangle in one of my hands. It's quiet for a few seconds before Daddy notices where Crowley is looking. 

"Back off Crowley, you need to leave. We're already pissed enough." 

"Fine, but I will be back later to discuss...other things."

I tug on Papa's shirt after Crowley disappears. I point to Daddy at once wanting to hug him. Papa smiles softly moving out of the way. I toddle over to him wrapping my arms around his middle. I feel Daddy relax slightly in my arms. His hand rubs my back lightly running his hands through my shaggy hair. He picks me up carrying me to the car. He sets me in my seat handing me a tablet with some headphones. 

"Baby you watch a movie okay? Daddy and Papa need to talk about big people stuff."

I nod as he puts the headphones over my ears. I choose to watch Beauty and the Beast. I really love that movie. I like that Belle loves to read and she isn't just a helpless princess. I feel the car vibrate and I know Daddy is upset. I try to ignore it my eyes not leaving the screen. Soon enough it stops just as it started. I feel the door open and I look up at Daddy. He motions for me to take the headphones out. I take them out quickly almost dropping the tablet.

"Good girl, Now we're going to go home okay and we're going to eat something and cuddle. You, Me, and Papa."

I peek around Daddy and Papa isn't there.

"Sammy will be back soon, He wanted to go get you a special drink for being so good."

I nod, slightly too tired to try to sign. I felt myself coming out of my regression and De could tell. I still wanted to be taken care of. He knew that. I don't know how he knows but he does. He brushes the hair out of my eyes carefully.

"Harmony, We love you, Sam and I we do. I'm sorry that we weren't there for you when your ex came around and I swear that if I ever see him..."

I cut him off by caressing his face lightly. His stubble soft under my fingertips. I study his face, The way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. The way his jaw clenches when he's holding something back. I press my forehead to his delicately. I want to tell him so desperately that I love him, That I love both of them. That they mean so much to me. There are a million things I want them to know. I feel comfortable with them, remembering how much they took care of me when I was younger, How much they cared. I love them for that, for giving a damn whether I brushed my teeth or if I had eaten that day. They kept me alive those times we were together and when we weren't they taught me skills to help me survive. His hand grips the back of my neck softly.

"I know, You don't have to say anything Harmony. I know what you're trying to say. I can feel it."

I smile softly. Knowing that there was no rush or need for me to talk makes me feel more comfortable. He pulls away after a few moments, studying my face. He smiles lightly. The door of the bar open and Dean explains to Sammy that I'm in a big mind set. Sammy nods slightly smiling at me before handing me a drink in a tumbler he had bought for me. I take it gladly, I needed to relax a bit. After what happened with my ex tonight I felt so on edge. Its vodka and coke, very strong I might add. Dean and Sam get in the front seat and I drink slowly as we drive away from the events that happened only an hour before. It's late at night about midnight by now. We were there for a while. I just want to go home and cuddle with my boys. My Sam and My Dean. I know that tomorrow they will go hunt. I'll be stuck in the motel all day, or night, or both. They packed multiple things for me to do but you can only color for so long or watch TV for so long. I felt the alcohol start to affect me. All I want to do is lay with them to have Dean stroke my hair while Sam rubs my back. I want to kiss them. I have for a while. Even in passing memories from when we were younger, I had a crush on both of them. Whether it be the fact that they took care of me or the fact that they were quite handsome. It didn't matter, I just wanted to kiss them, to hold their hands, to clean their wounds when they're hurt. I know that'll happen at some point. I feel my body relax under the weight of the drink. I'm such a lightweight. I lay my head against the window gently letting the car lull me into a drunken haze. Soon enough we pull in to the parking lot of the run down motel. I get out of the car carefully waiting on Dean or Sam to open the motel door. I carry my stuffed animal and my tumbler in. The stuffed animal serves as a comfort in any mind set big or little. I feel a hand wrap around my hips and I know its Sammy. I know they wouldn't do anything but his touch makes me nervous. I find myself leaning into his touch while we enter the door. Dean changes and puts in a movie 'Ghost Busters', I giggle slightly. He knows its my favorite movie. Sam set me on the bed softly, Knowing I'm almost in between mindsets at the moment.

"Do you need help changing Harmony?" I rub my eyes while nodding and taking a sip of my drink "Okay let's get you changed"

I hold my arms up so he can take off my top and bra. He doesn't touch me in any way other than to put one of his shirts on me. I kick off my shoes and he helps me out of my jeans. His hands rest on my hips and I lay my head against his chest. The sound of his heart beat soothing me. He rubs my back lightly. One of his hands lift my face up so I have to look at him, his long hair shadowing his face in the dull motel light. 

"Come on guys no chick flick moments" Dean groans 

I blush quickly hiding my face in Sams chest. I feel him rumble with laughter. Dean chuckles lightly and walks over to the both of us. I feel Deans hands in my hair and Sams still remain on my back. The feeling of just wholeness, of being loved, of being wanted becomes overwhelming momentarily and I feel tears prick my eyes. Not because I'm sad or upset. These are happy tears. No one has ever tried to be so kind to me, so sweet. 

"Oh shit Dean you made her cry, What's wrong Harmony? Are you hurt?" Sam says almost panicky 

I giggle as he checks me over for anything and I sign. 'I'm just happy, I'm okay Sam I promise'

He smiles and nods before pulling us down so we're sitting on the bed. Dean sits next to us with me in the middle. We lay down on the bed both their arms wrapped around me carefully. I feel my eyes grow heavy and my body relax, fully at peace. We get to the end of the movie when I feel myself whisper more than hear "I love you...both of you" before falling into a drunken sleep with the ghost busters theme song in the background.


End file.
